nothin' but corn

It's time for a little woodworking update! Ian got to work in November making custom cornhole boards. I'm pretty sure there is no project he can't do! He created Indiana University and University of Kentucky boards for Jason (his brother) and Hannah (our sister-in-law) for Christmas! Jason and Hannah attended undergrad at IU and grad school at UK. I think the boards have a cool retro look!

Ian, of course, felt the need to make us our own set of boards, too! Go Clemson tigers! And, bonus, the boards are decorating the walls of our garage when not in use. :)

Ian is currently working on making two twin size beds for our boys! We plan to move the boys into a room together once we have Strawberry with us!

our log in date and other thoughts

On June 29, we were officially logged in to China’s system! In the adoption community, this is referred to as our LID (log in date) and is a really exciting step! This means our dossier has been registered into CCCWA’s system (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) and they have started translating our documents. As I mentioned in another post, sometimes it is difficult to feel connected in this "paper pregnancy," but I am grateful that this was a very special connecting point for us. 

My sweet mother even sent us a card that made me cry. I'm posting photos of it below (without her personal message). So very thoughtful of her to acknowledge how special this date is in our journey.

In other adoption thoughts...today (July 21) at breakfast Gavin randomly started talking about Strawberry as he sometimes does. He said she was growing and her hair was getting longer. This was very potent for me to hear. It’s so hard to visualize our little girl. We believe we’ll find her, but we don’t know her yet. And, yet, she’s out there growing. Growing without us, without a family. Her soft, sweet hair is growing, and we aren’t there to kiss and caress her head. We aren’t there to mark her milestones. Ian and I can’t imagine our lives without Gavin and Hudson. And someday, we won’t be able to imagine our lives without Strawberry. Once we do have her, I imagine that we won’t be able to bear imagining her being alone right now. Baby girl, we love you and we pray you would feel God’s presence right now and a heavenly caress of your beautiful, growing hair.

life with littles

In the hustle and bustle of life with littles, there are so many things I want to remember. But with a terrible memory like mine and the general passage of time, I know it’s impossible. Due to that reality, I’m hoping to keep a few of these memory treasures on the blog so I can look back some day and remember the sweetness of these days.

When Gavin was one and still in his crib, sometimes he liked to stay in bed and request certain books from me when I came into his room in the morning. Primarily he used to request the “Bibey” – his name for the Bible. I found this absolutely precious and I took a photo of him reading the Bible in his bed about two years ago.

Gavin - April 17, 2014

A little over a month ago, I came into Hudson’s room in the morning, and he also requested a book from me. From his crib, he asked me for the “Biba” – his name for the Bible. My heart was full of joy thinking not only of Hudson’s request, but also of the memory of Gavin doing the same thing. So, I of course gave Hudson the Bible and took a picture of him, too.

Hudson - May 30, 2016

I pray our boys would always know how very much God loves them and how very much we love them.

paperwork & prayer pregnancy

I CAN’T believe it! All of our paperwork for the adoption on the United States side is complete! Check out this photo of all of our dossier documents that will be sent to our adoption agency this afternoon, and then China soon after!!!

It was definitely a long and in depth process to get each document ready. The majority of the dossier documents needed to be notarized, state verified by the secretary of state, and then certified by the China consulate. In case you’re interested, here’s a list of what is included in our dossier!

-Letter of Intent to Adopt

-Home Study Report (this is a huge report detailing everything from where we grew up to our current finances)

-Certified Birth Certificates for each parent

-Certified Marriage Certificate

-Physical Examinations for each parent

-Financial Statement

-Employment Letters

-Certificates of Good Conduct for each parent

-Immigration Approval

-Passport Photographs

-Copies of our Passports

-Photographs of our family and our home

We officially began our “paperwork pregnancy” in September 2015. I honestly can’t believe we are already at the point of sending our dossier to China. Once China receives it, our documents will be translated, and then we will be formally logged into China’s system and available to be matched. This is truly a huge milestone, and something to celebrate! We are one step closer to finding our Strawberry!

Prayer has also played a significant role in this pregnancy. God led us to this place, and he is continuing to lead us during the waiting. In the past couple of months, we have mostly waited. Waited on Citizenship and Immigration Services to send us approval and waited to receive documents back from the China consulate. During this wait and without the constant filling out of forms, the adoption has seemed so surreal to me. With my biological pregnancies, I was reminded of our babies every time they kicked or had hiccups, or even as my own discomfort grew. In our current waiting, I have prayed for a more “connected” feeling. In this present season, I think God is answering that prayer through a small voice.

Gavin is not one to pray out loud often. He always listens as we pray, but typically says he would prefer not to. And lately if we ask what he would like us to pray about, he requests that we pray for “apple.” Yes, the fruit! So, we thank God quite a bit for how wonderful and delicious apples are.

But before bed on May 26 Gavin caught us off guard and asked if he could pray. We of course said we would love for him to pray, and we jokingly asked if he was going to pray for apples. He told us no, and that he was going to pray for Strawberry. This was his prayer:

“Dear God, thank you for baby Strawberry, and for how wonderful she is. Amen.”

We told him how sweet that was, and he said he wanted to pray again.

“Dear God, thank you for baby Strawberry, and for how wonderful and beautiful she is. Amen.”

He has prayed similar prayers for Strawberry every night since then. One night he prayed for her health and for God to heal her if she was sick. Another night, he thanked God for her giggles.

This.

This is beauty.

When I have prayed to God over the past year for Strawberry, it has mostly been for her protection, for her to securely attach to us in the future, and for her to know she is deeply loved by God and by us. These are all good things, but Gavin’s prayer made me aware that I have not yet thanked God for how wonderful she is and for who she is as a person. His prayer was such an amazing reminder to me to thank God for the things I don’t even know about her yet! And I am so thankful for Gavin’s already tender heart for his baby sister.

picnic time

Our family now has a lovely spot to eat meals in the backyard! We purchased a pine picnic table from Lowe's that required assembly. Ian, of course, took it to the next level and used a gel stain for a rich hickory color, and then he put on several coats of polyurethane for protection. I was out of town when he finished it, and he surprised me with a personal touch in the center of the table. He etched a blueberry, a raspberry, and a strawberry into the wood. Such a sweet and thoughtful man! This has definitely made mealtime cleanup easier. Less food on the kitchen floor, but maybe a little more food on Hudson and the grass!

(Ian set the table on plain wood pieces to prevent the feet of the table from digging into the ground)

germs & tradition

The boys and I made banana wheat germ muffins this morning. My good friend Caroline passed along this recipe to me when Gavin was just a baby. These are definitely one of my favorite toddler muffins, and I would absolutely make them without toddlers, too. They are tasty and healthy! I realized two cool things when we were baking this morning:

1) This was the first time both boys were at the counter together stirring and baking with me! Gavin is no longer my solo helper.

2) I started a tradition and didn't realize it! As soon as I pulled out the mixing bowls, Gavin asked me to get out the chocolate chips. This recipe doesn't require chocolate chips, but baking with Mama does! Every time I bake I get out a bag of chocolate chips and pour a few into Gavin's bowl. He stirs for just a little bit and then eats them up! Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough to create family traditions. I guess that's the neat thing about traditions - they aren't always things you create. Some of the things we already do just have the potential to become special over time.

When baking, Gavin likes to know what ingredients we are using. When I told him we would be using wheat germ, he definitely clung to the "germ" part (he is my ultra clean child)!

"But we don't like germs!"

"You're right buddy, but this is a different kind of germ."

I do change this recipe slightly. Instead of using honey, I use maple syrup.  I started making these muffins before Gavin was one year old and of course I wasn't supposed to feed him honey.  Both boys are over one now, but I still use the syrup! If you're interested, click here for the recipe!

useful nuggets

Last week Ian and I attended a two-day adoption training called Pathways in Fort Worth, Texas. Our agency hosts this at their office and requires this training in addition to the online Hague training we already completed. This actually worked out great because we were able to stay with my mom and Rich (Grammy and Pops) in Dallas, Texas. They watched the boys for us all day Thursday and Friday, and then we were able to spend time together on Saturday.

Ian and I didn’t know exactly what to expect at the training, but it ended up being awesome and I’m so thankful Gladney requires it! In fact, this training was great for parents in general, not just those who are adopting. On the first day we learned about brain development and brain support systems. In an ideal world, children have a need and then receive multiple inputs from parents (physical need = instrumental care; intellectual need = structure, teaching, and boundaries; emotional need = love, support, holding, etc.). All of these inputs also create the foundation for attachment. A need is expressed and then a need is met. As you can imagine, without needs being met, brain development and attachment suffers. We took a look at the effects of neglect, abuse, sensory processing disorder, and maladaptive attachment styles as well. We also spent a portion of day one looking at our own attachment and parenting styles. This alone was great information – reflecting on our own past experiences and seeing why we behave the way we do is so invaluable in moving forward.

After a long day of training, my mom suggested that Ian and I have a date night in Fort Worth. We walked through the Stockyards Historic District and I got the chance to sit on a real Texas Longhorn! And when I say I got the chance, I mean I paid $5 to sit on him because I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. :)

On day two of training, the focus turned to parents as healers. This day was meant to bring theory into practice and to teach us how to connect with our children while correcting them. Ian and I both thought about Gavin and Hudson throughout the training. I think we took away some really useful nuggets that we’ve tried to start implementing already. I could seriously use some parenting training every year! In fact, I’d love training in every area of my life each year – marriage, friendships, being a good daughter…the list goes on! As an additional bonus to the training, we were able to meet people from around the country who are also in the process of adopting either internationally or domestically through foster care. It was truly beautiful to hear about their unique journeys.

On Saturday, we all went to a downtown Dallas park with Grammy and Pops and ate from several different food trucks! We then spent the afternoon swimming in the pool. Not too bad for a Saturday in March! On Easter morning, we woke up early and headed to the airport to fly home. Gavin was a champ on the plane. Hudson was a little more difficult, but bringing him several snacks helped. I was really sad we missed church on Easter, but it was so nice of Nana (Ian’s mom) to be ready for us with an Easter egg hunt and a delicious meal that afternoon!