in the wait

"'Wait on the Lord' is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come.”
-J.I. Packer, Knowing God

We are in that foggy waiting period right now. We are still not matched with a little girl, but we know she is out there somewhere and we continue to pray for her each day. A new question is rising up in me, what does God have for our family during this waiting period? How is He growing and shaping us?

As I was driving the other day, an image came into my mind of Strawberry crying and standing in a crib. It broke my heart. I want to hold her and kiss her sweet head and tell her she is loved. Gavin has continued praying for Strawberry in the evenings before bed. More recently, he has asked God to protect Strawberry. His preschool teacher has told me that he talks about Hudson and his baby sister in China all the time at school. His heart and his excitement for her are incredibly beautiful and touching. Hudson has even started saying “Strawberry” when we ask what he would like to pray for at night. Unbelievably precious.

It’s amazing how much adoption has impacted us all already, even without having our little girl here yet. When playing make-believe the other day, Gavin said, “Yeah, I’m watching 10 adopted kiddos right now.” It makes my heart smile to think that the word “adopted” is part of his everyday vocabulary. There are millions of orphans in the world who need loving homes, and if my children can grow up thinking it’s normal to be part of the solution, well, wow. That’s pretty spectacular to think about.

It is such a strange feeling to hold this hope and wonder where and who our daughter might be. Our hearts are yearning to meet Strawberry more and more every day. It is interesting how this desire has grown.There is a piece of me that fears we will never meet her in this wait that is so unknown in it’s length. But in this waiting, God continues to transform us. Ian and I regularly marvel at how much God has already changed my heart alone. I often think, who am I to adopt? I am imperfect and selfish and scared. But He has turned my heart tender. His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). He is writing the story, not me. And I am positive that His story is worth the wait.